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Today I have to drive downtown to take R2 to the neurologist. It makes my stomach all nervoussy. Not, all the brain stuff. That's just ho-hum. Noo... it's the driving. I hate driving to Houston. Today will be my first time ever to go with all 3 chilluns. Once I get there, it's just like being anywhere with 3 kids. But the driving. Eek.

Did I mention the MOG sprained his ankle on Thanksgiving? (delete all jokes and references to wus-ishness) Yesterday we finally tried to go to the doctor. But he has insurance, which makes it almost impossible to go to the doctor. First, I called the PCP on his insurance card. And, true to form, all heck breaks loose. The nurse says, annoyed.." Ma'am, I'm not going to be able to hear you with your baby crying." Nice. I could hear her just fine with a toddler tantrumning at my feet and a baby screeching in my ear. So when I have locked myself in the bathroom and called back, I wait 20 minutes on hold to find out they don't have any openings until late December. Thank you! That was SO helpful!
So I read on the card he can go to urgent care for a higher co-pay. So I pack up the kids, and he leaves work and we drive over there and unload. Oh, but he has insurance. And they don't take HMO. Or something. So I call the "customer service" people and they are shocked and amazed that I want them to find somewhere to take him. Ended up, after more shenanigans, dropping him off at the ER and going home and watching Top Model. Severe sprain. Splint, crutches and so on. So there you go.

Did you check out the possible new blog location? go there. http://www.yablonski.wordpress.com

Richy is doing really well. We have to make an appointment with the neurologist for 3 weeks or so from now, and we'll be able to talk medication then. The stuff he is on is ruining his teeth, and this higher dosage keeps him a little groggy. I'll take groggy over seizures any day, but maybe there's a better option.

It's a weird place, to be praying for his healing but planning for things to stay the same. Like drugs and action plans and so on...
Here's the thing- I don't think it's God's will for R2 to stay this way. I think God wants to heal him. All the way. I just don't know how to "make" that happen. So I will pray, and wait.
In the meantime, I do enjoy him.... he is such a funny, goofy little guy.

Toby is practicing his ear-piercing screech. No, not just now. All the time. That's right, all screaming, all the time. This has to be a phase. It has to. Otherwise, it will never end. I choose phase.

Ms. Smartypants is back in business! Ask your questions, maybe get an answer! Questions of a general nature can be submitted today through Monday morning, and will be answered (or not) Monday at naptime!

Also, I said it the other day pre-crisis, new pictures on me picture blahg. Comment-vous!

Back to abnormal

Last night I politely requested to Richy and Toby that they sleep until 9. Wake up in time for Sesame Street, that was the request.
Can you believe, it worked? After months of waking up around 8, today they snoozed until 9:12. I was so happy. I actually feel somewhat rested.
Trauma takes it out of you. I can't imagine what R2 must feel like. He won't sleep unless it's night, even if he's exhausted. So hopefully last night was good sleep for him.
He seems a little more like himself today. He's goofing around and such, still a little on edge. Also, he's on a double dose of his seizure medication, so he's a little dopey and slow to respond. Please, continue to pray with us for his complete healing.

In other news, I am going to the library today.
In other, other news, Toby is asleep and I think I will go work on my new blanket idea....

Home

This is a familiar feeling, coming home from the hospital. So relieved and so grateful to have a backseat full of voices.

Last night, they started talking about possibly letting us go home, but we knew that could change if one doctor wanted to observe him longer, or he didn't meet this standard or that one. So we waited, and waited. R2 got really sick of the room, so they unhooked his monitors and IV's (they were still in, just capped) and he explored the room a little, and went down to the playroom and conquered the Potatoheads, and so on. All day I had to force him to eat Jello, because he had to eat something and his throat was so raw from the ventilator. Later, they brought in a tray of meatloaf and mac and cheese, and he inhaled it. Poor kid. I guess he just doesn't care for Jello.
Finally, the Neurology team showed up. The head of Neurology is Dr. Slopis, and he was there when R2 was in the NICU there. I remember him sitting with us for a long time, showing us the CT scans (in 1999) and explaining where the blood was, and what had happened in R2's brain, and what it would probably mean, long term. So here he is, 8 years later. And he remembered us, and remembered those scans. He walked in saying, "This can't be a 24 weeker!" He was just so excited and upbeat. The MRI, CT, and EEGs had all come back good, no further brain damage or issues with the shunt. (we're already talking miracles)

Now, being well versed in this routine, I am feeling a little nervous. Because you answer one question wrong, and not only are you spending another night in the hospital, but the little guy is probably getting stuck and prodded and scanned and it's miserable. So Dr. Slopis asks us if he can walk, since the seizure. And I am nervous, because he has been walking, but he's irritable and wobbly (R2), so we go for a little walk with the team of neurologists watching. And I'm down the hall watching them watch us walk, and I'm in that realm. But get this, R1 is in the room with the docs, and Dr. Slopis is shaking his head and saying, "Amazing."

He is marveling at how the child he knows should be non-functional, if even alive, is such a miracle. They are watching him hobble down the hall with wonder.
About an hour later, we were driving home.

Thank you all so much for praying. We have turned the corner on this thing, praise God.

R2 had a bad seizure yesterday afternoon. He didn't stop seizing when he normally would, and was not getting good oxygen and starting to struggle to breathe, so we took him into the ER. After another 20+ minutes, he was still seizing a lot. They gave him a drug to stop the seizure, and he stopped breathing. So they called a code, and everybody rushed in from everywhere and it looked like, for a little while, that we might lose him. God intervened, and we prayed through that. He was intubated (put on a ventilator) and life-flighted to Hermann downtown.

Here, he started coming out of the sedation but was still really groggy. They ran an MRI and CT scan (these are brain scans) and several Xrays. Late last night he started waking up enough to want the ventilator out, NOW. He was gagging and bucking and really, really mad. We had to really fight for it, but we got the ventilator removed.

It's not funny, but he is such a peaceful, placid kid, and he was furious. He was screaming at the nurses. "NO! NO! CALM DOWN! NO!" We were trying not to laugh at the poor baby because he was about to start flipping hospital beds. Good sign.
He calmed down once everyone quit touching him, and then he started getting sad.

He fought sleep all night because he couldn't lay on his tummy. Several times he flipped over and disconnected his cannula and occluded IVs and wrapped cords all around him, and they would have to come flip him back. Finally this morning they figured out a massive cast-like thing to secure his IV, and then he was able to sleep on his stomach for a while.

Now, he's almost back. He's really jittery and irritable from the pain, but talking and I made him laugh a couple of times.
We've been moved to a less critical area of the ICU, and we should be able to talk to the doctors in a couple of hours.

Good reports, the CT scan and the MRI both look good. So, it is probably not his shunt malfunctioning.
They are doing an EEG now, which measures what's going on brain-wave/seizure wise.

We love you all, and thank you so much for all the prayer and support. Please keep praying.

R2 has just been lifeflighted to Hermann after a very severe seizure. He is critical but stable.
Thank you for your prayers.

clarkish

If there is ever a forehead shortage in the USA, you know where to look.

---

Today, tomorrow and Friday I have Steph's boys in addition to my trio. So far so good. I mean, yeah, there's been some screaming and hitting. But I'm sure I'll settle down soon.
Joking. Put down the phone.

Kids continually amaze me with their ability to play. R2 has always been more of a sidekick, in that pressed against your side breathing on your neck continual presence kinda sidekick. So Toby always surprises us by being allured by toys. Off he goes. The problem is that any toy being enjoyed becomes an object of desire for all the other boys. So they fight over it and R2 stands kind of nervously back and then later when they are all fighting over the new toy, he sneaks over and gets the old one.
Good things come to those that wait, they say.

Lunch should be fun. I think I'll start now.

mo KC

So, about Kansas City--- this is exciting! I know it's weird to have us leaving- but man! It's a prophetic journey. I am excited and nervous about seeing what God is going to do there. I had a dream years ago that leads me to believe this trip will be an awakening for me.
So that's kinda nervousy. I mean. you know how it is when you're almost awake but you're so warm and comfy in your bed and you kind of dread waking up in a few minutes?? It's like that.
Also nervousy- not having the team with us. That will be new and difficult for the MOG. It will be an interesting experiment in marriage.... The plan is 1 year. I'm too much of a homebody to plan being away from the Yablonksis for longer than that.

In other news, yesterday was the first day of the second year of horseriding. The party of the first part, R2, immensely enjoyed himself. The other parties did not take naps. Sheesh.

No new baby Clark yet. Stephanie and I and our broods will be going to La Palma tomorrow. That oughta do it.

Smartypants Schmartypants

dear ms sp
how many boxes can/will/should you/others pack in a day?

Excellent question, "Beth". One should be packing 100-150 boxes a day currently. But if one is engaged continually in the act of pulling out one's hair and saying OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE DON'T YOU KNOW CARS ARE DANGEROUS I SAID STOP and so forth, the likelihood of packing any boxes is, well. Unlikely.

Toby has decide to become 2 a couple of months early. I am against the term "terrible twos". Let me say, for the record, Toby is high-spirited and adventurous. May God have mercy on my soul.

No nap today. Thus the bitterness.

In other news, we're moving to Missouri.
But first, we're moving to a little apartment. Near Simplify. Our plan is to go to Missouri in January and rent a house.

Basketball started Saturday. Yeah, it was cute. It's more like individual basketball practices than a game, per se. Or persay, if you prefer. But R2 was awake at 7:30 a.m. holding his jersey. Got game?

Horseriding starts tomorrow.

school time

I have this dream of being this homeschool mom. You know, with a place for everything and everything in its place. And crafty little ideas that R2 can grasp and just have it together in general. Whenever I think about this woman, I get discouraged. I have lots of ideas, lots of creativity. But I don't know how to really get in Richy's head. And sometimes I think if I tried it, I would just keep working forever and ever and never get anywhere.
Some things he picks up and runs with- so I'm always on the lookout and hoping for some clue as to his thought process.
Logical things, like stack the blocks on top of each other, make a circle with the Playdoh- he has no real interest in, doesn't seem to have any understanding. And yet his sense of humor is highly defined... he understands subtleties and context that other kids don't. He understands music. He likes to be read to.... that's a key, I know. But his brain is a mystery to me in all the kind-of academic places.

Homeschool starts next week- maybe the week after. I have to make a plan.

this day in history

7 years ago today, I was in a hospital bed in Houston... it was my 4th day of bedrest after my water broke at 23 weeks and 3 days gestation.
At some point in the afternoon, my contractions started coming more regularly. I tried to ignore them... but somebody was ready to come and meet the Yablonskis.
After a little while. it was obvious that they had done everything they could do to stop labor and it just wasn't safe anymore. So off they wheeled me to the delivery room.

It's really a blur. I remember looking up at the ceiling as they wheeled me through the doorway and down the hall. Then I was in a different room with my mom and Richy I. Richy and I were both so scared. This was our first baby, our first pregnancy and everything had been normal until my water broke... So I laid there and Mama prayed and came in and out as there was a waiting room FULL of Yablonskis and friends waiting for reports. Richy cried and prayed and sang and almost passed out... He ended up out in the hallway for a while. I remember being in the room, just waiting for something to happen. A woman was screaming hysterically next door, and I had various monitors beeping and printing, and Daddy singing in the hall. And through it all, the steady thump thump thump of a very tiny heartbeat.
When he was born, all of us just held our breath for a moment. I remember thinking "Is he alive? Is he alive?" There is just a split second memory in my mind of a tiny gray body being lifted away from me and then the smallest hoarse little cry. Even in the insanity of the situation, relief flooded us. We just wanted to hear him cry. And then he was being wheeled at high speed down to the NICU, to spend his first hours being intubated and really, kept alive by Jesus and the medical team He worked through.

I saw him hours later, when the epidural wore off. I was so shocked. He was so small and red and I was so scared. I couldn't even talk to him... I just cried and cried. I had Richy wheel me back out in the hallway, where Mama was waiting to comfort me. " You better SNAP out of it!" she said. "That is YOUR baby in there. Now, you go back in there and talk to that baby!". Soothing words, those. So I snapped out of it and went and talked to my baby.


It was a scary day. It was emotional and it was hard. But every minute since he was born, he has blessed us.
He is the most pure, loving child I have ever seen. I don't even deserve the sweetness and trust he has. I am so blessed.
And I am so, so glad beyond what I can express that he cried. And that he fought his way through those 4 months in the NICU and that he is still such a fighter now.

a wee cry
and then beeping
and then more crying
and then you awe holy....
Oh ki gosh!
and singing
and singing
and singing
and praying
and laughing
and telling Buzz what's up
on the phone
banging loudly on the piano
and singing, hands flapping
the sounds of you
what joy

Happy Birthday, Richy.


This was the first picture we took of him. I remember thinking, someday we'll put this one up on a big screen as a testimony. He was 12 inches long and 1 pound 5 ounces.





That's his beanie baby, and Richy's wedding ring fit around his arm. He was a week or 2 old here.
















We wrote these Scripture cards and taped them to his incubator to encourage our faith (or denial, some said)





























Richard Lynn Clark II