Wennnnsday

Toby is now taking a nap. I don't understand why I hear drums... but he is in his room with the door closed and I am not asking questions.

We are moving in a month. A month from yesterday, actually. Do you know... I have never lived away from my family. All my siblings have, at some point, but me, never. This is going to be weird. And I hope it's not incredibly lonely and sad.
You see, Yablonskis are in each other's business. It's not so much like you have your life and I have mine... unless you want it that way. And even then, somebody is going to know what you're up to or see your picture in the paper and then all the family will discuss your doings amongst themselves. But if it makes that family member feel better, whatever. Anyways. My point is, we're a close family. Different close than we used to be, but still close. What will that be like when I am in Missouri, of all places? I barely even consider Missouri a state.

Here's a blogsite I'm considering moving to. Go try it out. http://www.yablonski.wordpress.com

Schmanksgiving

If I had to choose between Thanksgiving and Christmas as my favorite, it would be Christmas. But close... the presents put it over the top.

Thanksgiving is such a Yablonski thing... get together with all the family, or as much as you can assemble, bring some turkey and ham and stuffing and sweet potatoes with marshmallows and corn related food items and things with green beans (which I don't eat, but it's part of it), and rolls and so on and so forth. And the dessert table. And carbonated beverages.

And then you all sit in some semblance of a circle and go to the trough. And after you are eating, or before, or during, maybe someone will do a Russian dance. Maybe even with an apple in their mouth. And the jokes are flying. Maybe some sibling rivalry from New Jersey. Or a skit of some kind. And then some more ham, maybe.

Thanksgiving

i need to have
this moment here
to see that everything has not changed

i need to know
that you, and I
are strong and happy and close

i need to hear
you laugh and laugh
and see it all the way to your eyes

i know the truth
sometimes the tears
are close behind the joy

but if we can laugh together
we'll be okay

7 years

There was this Red Supra that sped by... it only had 3 hubcaps. And the hood was burnt a little. The windows were down, but it was a lady with gray hair.
There was this denim shirt that went by. It was stretched to the maximum on the shoulders, and wrinkled where it was tucked in, one time long ago. It was some guy at the gas station.
I heard some cowboy boots and turned to look. Worn black snakeskin... massive feet. Somebody else.
A flash of silver hair, the crunch of an apple. The smell of computers. Somebody else.
And every time my heart skips a beat and I think- you! But it's somebody else.
And I guess you aren't coming back. Heaven must be pretty good.

---

My dad died 7 years ago today. He was 6'3 and 280 on a light day. He had curly black and silver hair, and dark brown eyes, and a very tickly mustache. He was a giant of a man, literally and figuratively. He was no saint, in fact, he was a rascal. I wish you all could have met him.

daddy

When you left.... I said I didn't think I would ever laugh again.
But I roared and guffawed at your memorial.
You made me this way, you bad man.
I can't sit through a wedding or a funeral
Without a wicked little dialogue in my head,
Telling me what is so funny.

I thought I would never have
That strength and stability
Home, family ever again
But there was Mama.

I thought it was over
This comedy called
Parenting adults
Seeing how rich and how funny and how strange
But Georgia

I thought no one would charm the waitress
The cashier
The guy at the drive through
And do crazy things in public
But there was Bobby

I thought I would never
Catch someone's eye in church, or a meeting
And have to look away because something is so funny
I lost my friend, I thought
But Leah

I thought we had lost
The black and silver fire
Mystery and grace
Wrapped in hilarity
But.... Calvin

I thought the shoulders were gone
Those broad shoulders to ride on
And all the tricks and teasing
But then I found my kids up there
And there was me

It's not that I don't miss you
It's just that you left so much behind
For us to enjoy

Happy homecoming, Daddy
I hope you have a G5