hopeful

I noticed I started multiple posts with the word "well". Unacceptable. The writing is going to have to get better around here or I will lose all my subscribers.

Anyhoo. I'm up at the hospital, and Brynn is continuing to do well. We're starting to deal with some apnea and bradycardia, which is pretty much standard and expected. They are actually giving her caffeine to help with that. My question... should I do my part and drink some Coke? Because I miss Coke.
She is also still losing weight. The thing is, these things are basically a given for a baby this small. The fact that she is already doing so much breathing on her own is unexpected, and a real blessing. She should start gaining it back in a couple of days. She's doing well with the little bit of breastmilk they're giving her, and in a few days they'll up the amount.

Crazy that this is my life. Once I just settle back into the routine of the NICU, it's not difficult. I remember it well.

I've been thinking about my heart. Today I was driving, and singing... and I just started to feel like maybe my heart can heal. It seemed so impossible all these months that I could ever be myself again. But I am feeling hopeful today.