Thursday, May 18, 2006

wow

I don't want to jinx myself.... but Toby has slept from 10-6 for like
3 days now.... crazy. I have to adjust to sleeping through the night.
What a good problem.

ugh.

Pray for me. I need to want God. I need to love His word.
I don't.
It's just not alive to me. I read it and it all feels monotone...
like a chore. I don't want that...

what if
I call for You
and You don't come

what if
I'm waiting
and You're busy

what if
You do come
and You don't like me

what if
You change everything
and I don't like it

what if
I try really hard
and I still can't find You

what if
everybody asks me where You are
and I don't know what to say

what if?

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm frist.

Anonymous said...

Hey guys,

I posted this downstairs, but I put it back up here. Can someone help me?

I'm looking at getting a mp3 player. I want a screen, so the iPod shuffle is out, and I do not want to spend over $100 so any other iPod is out.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I found a Creative Zen Nano Plus 1 GB for $69.99. Does anyone know how this one performs? I know that it is not compatible with iTunes, but should it work OK?

BethC said...

balance is life
time for every season
appointed times and events
sometimes, i need a "teaching" book when scripture becomes too familiar

BethC said...

reason for aligning the lunar year with the solar year is that the biblical festivals are connected to the agricultural seasons of the 365-day solar year, so the difference of 11 days between the lunar calendar and the solar calendar has to be made up

BethC said...

the 19-year cycle of the Jewish calendar and the extra month was added automatically, seven times in the 19-year cycle

BethC said...

The current 19-year cycle began on October 2, 1997 in the Gregorian calendar which is the Hebrew year of 5758

BethC said...

Biblical days go from sundown to sundown

BethC said...

The night was divided into 3 watches of 4 hours each

BethC said...

Passover in 2007 will commence at sundown on Monday evening April 2nd, 2007 and will last eight days

BethC said...

Passover in 2006 commenced at sundown on Wednesday evening April 12th, 2006

BethC said...

http://www.cswnet.com/~duxrow/3JFeasts.ppt

quick powerpoint/basic info about feasts

BethC said...

hi jennifer & harvest
I am at chs today
counsel has been on my mind in the area of career/ministry/finances...

Beth said...

jess, also, i've discovered something wonderful lately.

i've discovered something wonderful lately. re: reading the word. it was getting harder for me to read the word with my busy schedule--not because i didn't make time for it but because i fell asleep every time i went to read it. then we bought the bible on cd (which was surprisingly cheap), and i've been listening to the word during times when i can't be reading...or if i'll fall asleep if i read.

and something i've found is that scriptures i've read a hundred times over, i'll hear something that i don't remember ever noticing when reading it. something will stick out--a new revelation about God...and that always leads to a greater love for God because all of the revelations of Him cause us to love Him.

and also i agree with everyone else. 8)

praying for you.

also, just a p.s. i know you and richy are leading a home group. are you in a home group that you're not leading?

Beth said...

just an ad for jess or anyone else:

women's cell group in thursdays at 7 pm in the preschool building at CTK. children are welcome. child care provided if you're willing to let go of them.

8)

Beth said...

oh yeah!
and to my readers....
i posted..
yesterday.
8)

Beth said...

sorry mommy-3
i know nothing at all about any mp3 player.
i wish i could help.

Beth said...

bethgail,
i like your hebrew calendar info.
i think you should put it all together on a nice little reference booklet. i would definitely enjoy that.

you know...in your spare time.

8)

Nate said...

m3...anything made by Creative should be ok. It's nothing super fancy, but it seems like you're just looking for a basic model. Creative has a good name, they've been around for a while and I've never had problems with their stuff. Except their speakers, they are nothing to get excited about. Mediocre sound and high prices...eh...go for Logitec or Klipsch.

The Zen most definatly WILL NOT work with iTunes, but it should work ok with Windows Media Player. If not, then it needs to come with it's own software. If it's new in box then it will.

Hope this helped

BethC said...

i've been all over campus so i just got a puter...feels like a friday
on the calendar stuff...i googled "hebrew lunar calendar"

i got the email jennifer
i'll call ya or you can call me this evening

BethC said...

on the tongue-thing i just thought of "acidic foods"
is that a possibility?

medical stuff is amazing
also science in general
oh yes and history
and of course finances

BethC said...

ai
is fixed and scripted
and predictable
(expect the unexpected)
say this after me:
"tv is NOT real tv is NOT real...."

BethC said...

except for leave it to beaver and
some pbs

BethC said...

actually, that makes me think of a great teaching tool/strategy for science and spirit...
just b/c you don't see it now
(or understand)
doesn't make it any less true/real

BethC said...

work = force x distance

Nate said...

ah...physics!!! I LOVE IT!!!! Universal Gravitation, force and friction and the negative acceleration of gravity -9.8m/s/s!!! Physics was definatly my favorite class....uhmm...EVER!!!

BethC said...

what is your career goal tron

Nate said...

haha!!! goal?!?! Whats that? I dont' have a clue. Definatly to finish college..I was thinking of doing engineering or physics or pharmacy or something. I'm not sure what the jee-oh-dee wants me to do though...

BethC said...

awesome possibilities...
you can do it!
science is such a vastly important field

BethC said...

pharmacology seems like a sweet deal, but i woould be ethically challenged to participate in some of the prescriptions that are given for certain "syndroms"

BethC said...

motivation and drive to be eagles and then just let em soar.

BethC said...

oh and jess
He gives His beloved sleep
ebb and flow

BethC said...

ok, it's up to the next "shift" to keep the conversations flowin
I'm outta here in a jiffy
"peace love and beavercleaver"

Nate said...

science is fun...I like it much...I'm not sure I'd be morally inclined to be a pharmacist now that I think about it. the "day after" pill and drugs to shut up people with demonic type stuff. Prayer is what these people need, not prescriptions

Nate said...

soo...no one has posted for a while...so I guess I will. but I don't have anything to say really. Except that if you haven't read the Mama PC story about how she became a Crouse, then you definatly should.

Mama PC said...

hey, the story is only halfway begun!!!

hi, everyone...

i'm falling asleep - but should make myself stay awake so i can shleep good tonight...

Mama PC said...

Natron, I wrote more in the Crouse Journal...

I guess this is befitting that I write down what all happened, way back when, since our TWENTY FIFTH ANNIE VERSERIE is in twelve days!!!

Mama PC said...

Jess -

How do I say this...

I went though what you seem to be stating that you're going through about Bible reading. I felt like I should be able to grasp something and should be reading it and should be more spiritual...

I don't know if it was because I had been raised in the church and had been taught so many years all about the Bible and such.... but, by the time I was a young adult, I had no desire to read the Bible. It was strange to me. It's not that I didn't love God. I DID love Him. I was just so perplexed in my mind that I just didn't know how to just relax and let Him speak to me.

I believed in His Word.
I believed that it was inspired.
I believed that Truth was Truth and that His Word was where it was at.

I also realized that I was wired a little differently than most and that I couldn't just read it because I was "supposed" to...

Some folks might say that I am out of line here... but... this is how I ended up finding Him...

I stopped trying to meet up to everyone else's standards... whether it was in church attendance, Bible reading plans, spiritual exercises... I just had to stop even the onslaught of my own mind that required of me that I SHOULD DO THIS AND SHOULD DO THAT... with all the demands, I just froze up...

So, I allowed myself to be free of the demands... stepped back for a while... started allowing Him to seek me... does this make sense...???

It wasn't through ritual or religious exercises. I had to let down everything that was not of Him (obligatory Bible-reading, performance)... and just LET HIM LOVE ME in all my ugliness and all my shame and in all my weakness and in all my earthiness. It's when I stopped trying to please people and perform methods and ways man has constructed to get to God that I found a place in my heart that could experience His love. When I became desperate for Him, I cried out and He answered! So, this may not be what all people would think would be the right kinda way to get around to loving His Word... but somehow, I was stuck in the ought-to's.. stuck in the shoulds... stuck in a mold that I didn't even place myself into... and I had to be free.... I had to have room to breathe! and when I came up for air....finally.....THAT was when I realized that i couldn't live without Him or His Words...

So, don't tell anyone that I say you don't have to read your Bible.... but, give it a break and allow yourself to "come away" and go skipping on the hills with your lover, allowing Him to chase you for a while....hide and seek.... and one day, you'll realize that you cannot get enough of His Word to eat...

Josh said...

Our BIG boy

Shannon just called me leaving the pediatrician. Keith went from 8 lb 14 oz to 10 lb 9 oz in just over two weeks (16 days)! We were really excited about getting him weighted cause he was really looking bigger (chubby checks, fat around arms and legs, etc.). My guess was 10 lbs. even and he blew right past that. It’s a blast to see him doing soo good now. THANK YOU JESUS!

He also went from 21.5 inches to 23 inches!

MPC- read some of your story. Very good. I’ll have to read the rest later.

Josh said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mama PC said...

GO KEITH!!!

Mama PC said...

jESS, HOW MUCH DO tOBY WEIGH(T) NOW?

Nate said...

What you describe is me as far as reading the word goes. It's just...words...to me. Like you said, I know it's truth, and I know that they are the words of God.

What you describe yourself being in sounds like what Jpeg has described to me, at least somewhat. Being in a "mold" that he didn't place himself into.

"trying to meet up to everyone else's standards... whether it was in church attendance, Bible reading plans, spiritual exercises... I just had to stop even the onslaught of my own mind that required of me that I SHOULD DO THIS AND SHOULD DO THAT... with all the demands, I just froze up..."

sounds like what he described to me....very much so

Nate said...

I think I've begun to feel the ill effects of a long term fast...this is the least I've eaten over a 3 day stretch...ever. I felt very ill this afternoon on the way to RG practice. i thought I might have to pull over and vomit...but I made it fine. Is there anythign else I should expect as far as uh...physical stuff that happens when you fast?

Viking Granny!!!! said...

It is not fun being in the desert.

It is dry hot and yukky.

Embrace it, get what you need from it and keep moving.

Nate said...

I just finished this wonderfully simple little book called "The Beggining" it chronicles the beginning of All. It's pretty good. It seems like a child's book, large font, short chapters etc...but it has some BIG words for a kid! It offers some really nice insight into the beginning of everything. It definatly put everything into a grander scale for me! The glory of a sin-less world and the horror of sin. Definatly a recommended read, it's really short, a couple hours tops! It's the first in a series called "The Chronicles of the Door" I like it much. I think I'll pick up the rest of the series.

Nate said...

OH MY GOSH!! I just read that this author used to live in Conroe!!! HOW WEIRD!!! His name is Gene Edwards. Wow...this guy's alot more famous than I thought. Turns out I have another of his books and didn't know it. Heck...I might have them all!! I'd like to read his more famous one "The Divine Romance"

Viking Granny!!!! said...

After Sunup...I am the frist!

so I guess I can be the Sunshiney frist!

Yip that me.

Nate said...

friday friday friday...RG today...and I am tired. Hope I can stay awake on stage!