The medal goes to...

You will all be delighted to know that, after weeks and months of turning you all down from holding Toby, I let a complete stranger hold him at the grocery store.
This is how it went down. We tank up prior to leaving the house. Toby, full, happy and medicated, sleeps all the way to HEB. Sleeps on the way in... bumpy bumpy bumpy
Sleeps while we ate a delicious lunch (HEB has value meals for like 2 bucks what the heck) and woke up as soon as we entered the grocery aisles....
Smiled through the store, charmed people etc. Stopped smiling at the produce round-up. I recognized the signs and banked for the checkout line... I got a fairly decent line behind 2 people with carts full of chickens and goats and such (not really, but it does feel like a Mexican market in line sometimes)
And the meltdown began. Chat chat chat people with the clerk... read a mag, if you'd like. Fumble around... where is that wallet?? Chat, clerk and sacker. Sack at your leisure...
Progressing rapidly past the bronze whine right into the silver angry tears. Finally make it through, chat chat over the screams...
And we're to the door when I realize I did not redeem my Coinstar voucher.... I check the receipt as Toby takes the gold. Yep, redeemable only today.
If I were a wealthy woman, I'd let my $45 of coins go... just let it go. But, as I am of the goat and chicken farm category, I take R2 and Toby in their cute little matching shirts back INTO the store. R2, fascinated by his Buddy Bucks, walks 15 feet behind me. Abduct me! his posture cries out.
Yada yada
Get my money and take off for the car. I am almost at my destination and the frantic screams are attracting attention. Then, a small pickup truck full of pierced and dyed people stops directly in my way. I say excuse me, nicely, but they don't listen. So I start to try to drive the cart through. FInally they notice me and step reluctantly to the side.
And this is where it happens. I am frantically throwing my groceries in the trunk as the platinum air raid siren wails over the city. A woman asks me in Spanish a question, some question and holds out her arms. And I, who don't give him to his own grandmothers at church, hand him over gratefully. I throw 2 cases of water on top of the other bags, throw the empty carseat in the back, throw R2... no, wait... he climbed in by himself. And I take the now quiet Toby, sucking happily on his fist, and thank the lady in multiple languages.

I'm still not going to let you hold him. I miss him too much. Unless I see you at the store.